navigating our stories

narrative therapy, community care, collective action

Mug, books, and journal

Our stories, ourselves.

What is the story of your life, and of yourself within your life?

What are your skills, values, and insider knowledges?

How have you stayed connected to your own strong stories?

Our stories shape how we see ourselves and the world around us, and can connect us to our own actions and choices in responding to the problems in our lives.

Narrative therapy is all about our stories – the ones we tell ourselves, and the ones we’ve been told; the ones we tell about other people, and the ones they tell about us. It’s about understanding where those stories come from, who they serve, and deciding whether we still want to give those stories weight in our lives. And it’s about reauthoring our stories, and strengthening our connections to legacies and histories of responding to hardship with skill and resilience.

A narrative conversation, either in a group setting or individually, can help us tell our stories in ways that honour our skills, values, knowledges and actions. For many marginalized communities, these skills, values, insider knowledges, and actions have been devalued and dismissed.

You already are the protagonist and the narrator of your own story, the expert in your own experience – nobody can give you that power, and nobody can take it away. But sometimes we lose connection to our deep self-storying abilities, and narrative therapy can help us get back in touch with that knowledge.

Narrative Therapy


In 2018, I completed the Master of Narrative Therapy and Community Work degree at the Dulwich Centre and the University of Melbourne, and I am excited to offer narrative therapy to people in Calgary and online. We can work together one-on-one, or in a group setting. My facilitation style is collaborative and flexible – we can co-create a plan that will help you navigate, understand, and re-author your story in a way that feels right for you.

Self-Care Resources

Are you looking for immediate and accessible help? You’ll find resources here. This category will be growing over the next year as I complete projects. These free resources are made possible by my patrons on Patreon and I appreciate it so much.

Writing in the Margins Workshops

Writing in the Margins has been on hiatus while I completed my Master of Narrative Therapy and Community Work degree at the Dulwich Centre and the University of Melbourne. Now that I’ve completed this degree, watch this space for a new writing group launching in September, 2019!


Have you written something amazing? I can edit your fiction, creative non-fiction, academic paper, dissertation, or book. I bring a gentle and insightful editing voice, and a keen eye for detail. I read for grammar and style, of course, but what I’m best at is reading for intersectionality, accessibility, and queer and feminist politics.

Sostar Self Care on Facebook

Sostar Self Care on Facebook

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2 weeks ago

Tiffany Sostar

Good morning! This is not a ‘how-to’ post. This is a post about my morning, in case you are also having these kinds of mornings.

Maybe you are struggling with feeling like a failure these days. (I am.)

How can my house be so messy when I’m home all the time?

How can my kids be on screens for so long, how can *I* be on screens for so long?

Why isn’t the laundry put away? Why aren’t the dishes done? Why haven’t I replied to emails?

Why haven’t I talked to my friends? Does everyone hate me now?

Why haven’t I written a book already, geez?

This morning my journaling was heading in this direction, and it was feeling bad (do I show up at the page in order to beat myself up? I would prefer not!)

So I paused and took a couple breaths and pulled a couple tarot cards and reminded myself that everyone is in an uphill battle these days. And that I have been dealing with grief and with escalating health issues and with the return of old unwelcome thoughts.

I wrote, ‘This is not about failure, this is about struggle.’

And, ‘Just because it isn’t a failure doesn’t mean it can stay the same.’

And then I narrative therapized myself a little bit, and put some words and some stories to what I would prefer. The self I would prefer to move toward and the histories of that self.

I decided that my goal this weekend is to find some moments of ease - to search for the path that feels most possible even if that means the dishes don’t get done and the laundry doesn’t get folded or put away and I don’t check much off my to do list.

Yelling at myself to work harder is not helping me feel more possible. And I am so tired.

If you are also feeling less and less possible these days, I hope you find some small moment of ease today. If it only lasts a moment, a single breath, that’s okay.

It is not about failure. It is about struggle.

They’re different things.

You’re not failing.

You are having a hard time.

Remind yourself of this.
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Comment on Facebook

Thank you for this, Tiffany. I feel so broken most of the time these days. This is a helpful reframing. ❤️❤️❤️

Thank you for that ❤️❤️❤️ Exactly how I feel. I feel less possible.

My laundry thanks you, as it has been scattered to the corners of the building by kittens.

Needed this today. Thank you. 💜

Profound. Thank you.


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3 weeks ago

Tiffany Sostar

These are important questions, and any therapist should be willing to answer them. ... See MoreSee Less

These are important questions, and any therapist should be willing to answer them.Image attachmentImage attachment

3 weeks ago

Tiffany Sostar

This is such an important resource - accessing support from folks who share lived experience and community is a justice issue. ... See MoreSee Less

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Know your stories, know yourself.