navigating your story

self-care, self-discovery, self-expression

Mug, books, and journal

Your stories, your self.

What is the story you tell yourself when you look in the mirror?

When you reflect on the day?

When you think about your past, your present, your future?

Those stories shape how you see yourself and the world around you, and how you respond to situations and stressors. Some of these stories are positive, hopeful, wholehearted. But others are full of fear, shame, and internalized stereotypes and negative stories.

Self-care coaching can help you thrive by helping you develop sustainable and effective habits and strategies, regardless of the ongoing challenges in your life.

Narrative coaching can help you see clearly what stories you’ve internalized, and then intentionally keep the helpful ones and transform the helpful into something more whole, more true, more you.

And these two focuses work together holistically to give you immediately applicable coping strategies and support as you examine and transform your inner narratives. You already are the protagonist and the narrator of your own story – nobody can give you that power, and nobody can take it away. But often we lose connection to our deep self-storying abilities, and self-care and narrative coaching can help us get back in touch with that knowledge.

I can also help you write a new story through my “Transformative Year” package.



We can work together one-on-one, or with a group. My coaching style is collaborative and holistic – we will co-create a plan that will help you navigate, understand, and transform your life story in a way that feels sustainable, stable, and wholehearted.

Self-Care Resources

Are you looking for immediate and accessible help? You’ll find resources here. This category will be growing over the next year as I complete projects. These free resources are made possible by my patrons on Patreon and I appreciate it so much.

Writing in the Margins Workshops

From writing intensives, retreats, and groups to the monthly Smutty Story Circle, Writing in the Margins has offered accessible, sex-positive, queer- and trans-friendly, intersectional feminist writing spaces for the last seven years. We focus on creative non-fiction, fiction, and poetry.


Have you written something amazing? I can edit your fiction, creative non-fiction, academic paper, dissertation, or book. I bring a gentle and insightful editing voice, and a keen eye for detail. I read for grammar and style, of course, but what I’m best at is reading for intersectionality, accessibility, and queer and feminist politics.

Sostar Self Care on Facebook

Sostar Self Care on Facebook

Many of us on the margins are holding a dozen thin threads and trying to braid them into something that can hold our weight.

We're working multiple jobs (paid or unpaid).

We're going to school or we're learning a craft or we're teaching ourselves to cook or to care for ourselves or our families or our communities.

We're dealing with precarity and the particular extended stress of paycheck-to-paycheck. If that.

We're caring for kids, for parents, for partners, for ourselves.

We're trying to stretch across service gaps to get help with our transitions, to get help with our queer sexual health, to get help with our emotional and mental health. We're struggling to access care within racist colonial systems, within fatphobic systems, within ableist and saneist systems. Systems that are not designed to serve us, that are not designed with us in mind, that enact further harm when we try to access help.

We're holding our families together.

We're holding our futures together.

We're holding our hearts together.

It's hard!

If that describes your experience, take a moment to breathe.

Sometimes there is this deeply painful individualizing narrative that we get stuck in - if we were better with money, if we were healthier, if we were the right kind of person, a better kind of person, then it would be easier. As if it's our own fault for struggling to exist within systems that are not designed to support our existence.

If it's helpful, offer yourself a validation - even write it down, if you want.

"I am tired because I am doing..."

"I am anxious because I am experiencing..."

"I am feeling low because I am having to..."

Take a look at the skills, strategies, knowledges, and efforts you are bringing into your life.

You are doing so much!

You are dealing with what's in front of you in the best way that you can, and it is good enough.

If it's helpful, validate those skills, strategies, knowledges, and efforts that are getting you through this, and helping you get your families and communities through this.

"I am responding by..."

"I am using my skill of..."

"I know how to get through this because..."

Sometimes it helps to actually look at all the ways in which we are resisting the problems in our lives.

I love us, you guys.

I love our softness and our fierceness and the way we manage to do so much - to keep going despite chronic pain, to keep giving despite chronic scarcity, to keep moving forward despite overwhelming obstacles. I just love us.

Also, I am learning how to do this kind of narrative work more intentionally and hopefully more skilfully, so if you want to work with me, let me know!
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Know your stories, know yourself.

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