navigating your story

self-care, self-discovery, self-expression

Mug, books, and journal

Your stories, your self.

What is the story you tell yourself when you look in the mirror?

When you reflect on the day?

When you think about your past, your present, your future?

Those stories shape how you see yourself and the world around you, and how you respond to situations and stressors. Some of these stories are positive, hopeful, wholehearted. But others are full of fear, shame, and internalized stereotypes and negative stories.

Self-care coaching can help you thrive by helping you develop sustainable and effective habits and strategies, regardless of the ongoing challenges in your life.

Narrative coaching can help you see clearly what stories you’ve internalized, and then intentionally keep the helpful ones and transform the helpful into something more whole, more true, more you.

And these two focuses work together holistically to give you immediately applicable coping strategies and support as you examine and transform your inner narratives. You already are the protagonist and the narrator of your own story – nobody can give you that power, and nobody can take it away. But often we lose connection to our deep self-storying abilities, and self-care and narrative coaching can help us get back in touch with that knowledge.

I can also help you write a new story through my “Transformative Year” package.

Coaching

Coaching

We can work together one-on-one, or with a group. My coaching style is collaborative and holistic – we will co-create a plan that will help you navigate, understand, and transform your life story in a way that feels sustainable, stable, and wholehearted.

Self-Care Resources

Are you looking for immediate and accessible help? You’ll find resources here. This category will be growing over the next year as I complete projects. These free resources are made possible by my patrons on Patreon and I appreciate it so much.

Writing in the Margins Workshops

From writing intensives, retreats, and groups to the monthly Smutty Story Circle, Writing in the Margins has offered accessible, sex-positive, queer- and trans-friendly, intersectional feminist writing spaces for the last seven years. We focus on creative non-fiction, fiction, and poetry.

Editing

Have you written something amazing? I can edit your fiction, creative non-fiction, academic paper, dissertation, or book. I bring a gentle and insightful editing voice, and a keen eye for detail. I read for grammar and style, of course, but what I’m best at is reading for intersectionality, accessibility, and queer and feminist politics.

Sostar Self Care on Facebook

Sostar Self Care on Facebook

What small moments of hope have you found or cultivated in this last week?

It has been a terrible week on so many fronts. Among my self-care and narrative coaching clients and within my communities, the most common descriptor for the last week has been "rollercoaster." It's been a sickening ride, and many of us are feeling it deep in our bodies.

What is it that is keeping you going, despite everything?

What are you holding onto?

What are you turning towards, and what is nourishing you?

Who have you comforted, what action have you taken?

We always respond to injustice and threat in some way. We are never passive recipients of trauma. What are you holding on to, what you are receiving, what are you sharing, what choices are you making?

Find your bucket of hope, fill it. Go searching for what you need with intention, compassion, and awareness. And then, if and when you can, pour it out into the buckets of those around you. We need each other, and we need ourselves.

Image description: A yellow bucket with a few purple flowers, against a dark blue background.
... See MoreSee Less

What small moments of hope have you found or cultivated in this last week?

It has been a terrible week on so many fronts. Among my self-care and narrative coaching clients and within my communities, the most common descriptor for the last week has been rollercoaster. Its been a sickening ride, and many of us are feeling it deep in our bodies.

What is it that is keeping you going, despite everything?

What are you holding onto?

What are you turning towards, and what is nourishing you?

Who have you comforted, what action have you taken?

We always respond to injustice and threat in some way. We are never passive recipients of trauma. What are you holding on to, what you are receiving, what are you sharing, what choices are you making? 

Find your bucket of hope, fill it. Go searching for what you need with intention, compassion, and awareness. And then, if and when you can, pour it out into the buckets of those around you. We need each other, and we need ourselves.  

Image description: A yellow bucket with a few purple flowers, against a dark blue background.

A hug between my step-daughter and me, and comfort and reassurance toward her, when things between us have been adversarial for a long time.

19 hours ago
Avatar

Comment on Facebook

Tiffany Sostar shared their event.

This event is coming up on Tuesday. It's going to be great! And I'll be creating the usual resource following the event, so if you want to be part of the conversation but can't make it to the event, let me know.
... See MoreSee Less

Tiffany Sostar added a new photo.

This #woodlandwednesday, as my community continues to reel in the aftermath of a deep injustice, I am thinking about the amazing ability of forests to experience trauma, process that trauma slowly and with care, and transform the site of trauma into a site of both memory and new growth. I am thinking about how forests require such reciprocal and intentional caregiving in order to achieve this healing process - how the animals and the other trees and the other plants are all part of this process. How time is part of this process. How even when the alchemy is complete, the memory of trauma remains - there is no demand for erasing history while healing.

And even though I think that post-traumatic growth is a beautiful and hopeful thing, I think that demanding it from each other or from ourselves is a form of further violence. I am not suggesting that we erase, or "look for the hidden blessing" in any trauma.

The forest holds the memory of trauma, and despite the growth that eventually returns, the evidence of the trauma remains - there is no demand of perfect survivorship in the forest. There is no expectation of being "the good survivor" in the forest - scars are welcome, memory is welcome, bitterness and anger and the sharp sting of a charcoaled core is welcome.

I am thinking about how marginalized communities are like forests in their ability to absorb and alchemize trauma, and how this resilience and persistence is sometimes fetishized, glorified, in ways that erase or minimize the suffering. I am thinking about how tourists into the healing forest cause further harm. For communities or individuals processing a trauma, it is okay to turn inward. It is okay to need that time away, to need solitude, to require a buffer within which your ecosystem can process and heal.

If you are the burnt tree this week, I see you.

If you are the new growth, I see you.

If you are both, I see you.

If I can help, let me know.

Image description: A burnt tree trunk surrounded by new growth.
... See MoreSee Less

This #woodlandwednesday, as my community continues to reel in the aftermath of a deep injustice, I am thinking about the amazing ability of forests to experience trauma, process that trauma slowly and with care, and transform the site of trauma into a site of both memory and new growth. I am thinking about how forests require such reciprocal and intentional caregiving in order to achieve this healing process - how the animals and the other trees and the other plants are all part of this process. How time is part of this process. How even when the alchemy is complete, the memory of trauma remains - there is no demand for erasing history while healing.

And even though I think that post-traumatic growth is a beautiful and hopeful thing, I think that demanding it from each other or from ourselves is a form of further violence. I am not suggesting that we erase, or look for the hidden blessing in any trauma. 

The forest holds the memory of trauma, and despite the growth that eventually returns, the evidence of the trauma remains - there is no demand of perfect survivorship in the forest. There is no expectation of being the good survivor in the forest - scars are welcome, memory is welcome, bitterness and anger and the sharp sting of a charcoaled core is welcome.

I am thinking about how marginalized communities are like forests in their ability to absorb and alchemize trauma, and how this resilience and persistence is sometimes fetishized, glorified, in ways that erase or minimize the suffering. I am thinking about how tourists into the healing forest cause further harm. For communities or individuals processing a trauma, it is okay to turn inward. It is okay to need that time away, to need solitude, to require a buffer within which your ecosystem can process and heal.

If you are the burnt tree this week, I see you.

If you are the new growth, I see you.

If you are both, I see you.

If I can help, let me know.

Image description: A burnt tree trunk surrounded by new growth.

Know your stories, know yourself.

send me an email