navigating your story

self-care, self-discovery, self-expression

Mug, books, and journal

Your stories, your self.

What is the story you tell yourself when you look in the mirror?

When you reflect on the day?

When you think about your past, your present, your future?

Those stories shape how you see yourself and the world around you, and how you respond to situations and stressors. Some of these stories are positive, hopeful, wholehearted. But others are full of fear, shame, and internalized stereotypes and negative stories.

Self-care coaching can help you thrive by helping you develop sustainable and effective habits and strategies, regardless of the ongoing challenges in your life.

Narrative coaching can help you see clearly what stories you’ve internalized, and then intentionally keep the helpful ones and transform the helpful into something more whole, more true, more you.

And these two focuses work together holistically to give you immediately applicable coping strategies and support as you examine and transform your inner narratives. You already are the protagonist and the narrator of your own story – nobody can give you that power, and nobody can take it away. But often we lose connection to our deep self-storying abilities, and self-care and narrative coaching can help us get back in touch with that knowledge.

I can also help you write a new story through my “Transformative Year” package.

Coaching

Coaching

We can work together one-on-one, or with a group. My coaching style is collaborative and holistic – we will co-create a plan that will help you navigate, understand, and transform your life story in a way that feels sustainable, stable, and wholehearted.

Self-Care Resources

Are you looking for immediate and accessible help? You’ll find resources here. This category will be growing over the next year as I complete projects. These free resources are made possible by my patrons on Patreon and I appreciate it so much.

Writing in the Margins Workshops

From writing intensives, retreats, and groups to the monthly Smutty Story Circle, Writing in the Margins has offered accessible, sex-positive, queer- and trans-friendly, intersectional feminist writing spaces for the last seven years. We focus on creative non-fiction, fiction, and poetry.

Editing

Have you written something amazing? I can edit your fiction, creative non-fiction, academic paper, dissertation, or book. I bring a gentle and insightful editing voice, and a keen eye for detail. I read for grammar and style, of course, but what I’m best at is reading for intersectionality, accessibility, and queer and feminist politics.

Sostar Self Care on Facebook

Sostar Self Care on Facebook

Today I'm thinking about discouragement.

That feeling like nothing matters, because no matter how hard you try, it doesn't get better.

I'm thinking about how discouragement distorts our perception of our own agency, skills, and knowledges, and how it feels so heavy. There is so much inertia in discouragement.

Here are a few ways to resist discouragement. None of them are perfect, and none of them work every time. (And all of them can end up feeling worse if we try and force ourselves, so trust your wisdom when choosing which one to try out!) I would love to hear your suggestions, too.

- Spend some time mapping out moments when you have been able to make progress on a difficult issue. Search through the dim light of discouragement to find those sparkling moments of agency and self-efficacy (our ability to effect positive change in our own lives).

- Spend a few minutes being fully present with yourself. Discouragement is often a future-oriented experience - we don't see a way forward for ourselves - and sometimes we can get out from under that weight by turning our attention to the present moment. Take a deep breath. Be present in your body. Assess your current needs and see if you can meet one of them - maybe tea, or water, or a stretch, or a few moments gazing out the window, or a bunch of baby animal pictures.

- Write out a description of the situation that has you feeling discouraged, including all of the social, historical, and personal context details that are contributing. Keep writing until you have it all out, even if that means repeating yourself a bunch of times. Then go back over your writing and look for repetition and patterns. Anything that shows up multiple times, or that you have a strong reaction to when you read it, put it into a separate list. Once you have that list, write out potential ways to respond to those issues. Let yourself be creative here. Keep writing until you've come up with as many ideas as you can. Are there any that you can act on?

- Reach out to someone for support. Maybe a friend, maybe a professional, maybe a family member. You might just need to talk about how you're feeling, or you might want advice. It's okay if you don't want advice, though. You are the expert in your experience, and it's okay to ask for support without accepting advice.

- Reach out to someone to offer some support. Sometimes we can find courage for other people even when we can't find it for ourselves.

What strategies do you use when you're feeling discouraged?
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Tiffany Sostar added a new photo.

Today's #stickfiguresunday is a teaser!

There are a few new projects allllllllllmost ready to reveal.

I am really excited about them.

I can't wait to share them!

Well, I *can* wait, because I must. But not for much longer! So keep your peepers on this page (and on the Patreon) because before the end of the month, I'll be revealing Exciting! New! Projects!

Image description: A stick figure stands in front of a colourful box labeled Exciting New Projects. They are saying, "I have a surprise for you!!!"
... See MoreSee Less

Todays #stickfiguresunday is a teaser!

There are a few new projects allllllllllmost ready to reveal.

I am really excited about them.

I cant wait to share them!

Well, I *can* wait, because I must. But not for much longer! So keep your peepers on this page (and on the Patreon) because before the end of the month, Ill be revealing Exciting! New! Projects!

Image description: A stick figure stands in front of a colourful box labeled Exciting New Projects. They are saying, I have a surprise for you!!!

Tiffany Sostar shared The Transgender Language Primer's post.

I'll be doing this over on my personal page, and also setting up a small group for folks who want to participate more privately but still be able to chat about our responses. If you're interested, let me know!

I am super excited about this! Gender is such a relevant topic for so many of my clients and community members, and this kind of rich exploration of our narratives and histories is exactly the kind of work I often do with folks.
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Some have a hard time understanding when I say we need to investigate our own experiences of #gender when I talk about how the TLP is intended to help folks understand gender + #trans experience (http...

Ill be doing this over on my personal page, and also setting up a small group for folks who want to participate more privately but still be able to chat about our responses. If youre interested, let me know!

I am super excited about this! Gender is such a relevant topic for so many of my clients and community members, and this kind of rich exploration of our narratives and histories is exactly the kind of work I often do with folks.

Know your stories, know yourself.

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